ARNALDO ROCHA - ERRO CRASSO


ERRO CRASSO - Iº Capitulo

Naquela noite, Marco Licínio Crasso sentia-se definitivamente indisposto. A empada de línguas de rouxinol caiu-lhe mal em cima do lúcio recheado com molho de alecrim em iogurte mozzarela. O vinho de Falerno pesava-lhe no cólon transverso. Gases subiam-lhe à boca enquanto continha traques no limite da educação. Ao lado, uma matrona avantajada queria saber onde melhor investir seis mil talentos herdados do marido, falecido de apoplexia sexual no “cunnus” da amante. Seria melhor comprar terras, vender escravos, investir em “insulae”, especular no trigo…? Crasso entrou em náusea profunda. A mulher não parava. Voz irritante. Aguda. Perdigotos abundantes. Vinho entornado nas pregas flácidas. Seios descomunais alastrando no tríclinio adamascado. Aquela já só dava para “fellatio”!
Crasso não gostava de mulheres. Crasso não gostava de sexo. Crasso gostava de ouro. Crasso estava à beira do vómito. A cabeça de porco lacada acompanhada a puré de castanhas foi fatal. O escravo Núbio só teve tempo de lhe amparar os despojos fermentados, disponibilizando a carapinha para limpeza das falangetas engorduradas.
Do outro lado da sala, diletantemente reclinado no tríclinio, o jovem patrício, Quinto Servílio, contava com pronúncia afectada a lenda de Midas.
“ Midas era rei da Frígia. Um frívolo, desprovido de inteligência e ávido de riquezas.
Um dia o velho Sileno, mais ébrio que de costume, abandonou o cortejo de Baco, seu companheiro de orgias e folguedos. Acabou perdendo-se por caminhos desconhecidos, vagueando por montes e vales durante vários dias. Os servos do palácio de Midas, encontraram-no profundamente adormecido. Midas recebeu Sileno efusivamente. Deu-lhe comida e agasalho. Durante dez dias houve festas e banquetes ininterruptos. Finalmente, chegou a hora de devolver Sileno a Baco. Este ficou radiante por reencontrar o companheiro de deboche. Tão encantado ficou que prometeu conceder a Midas qualquer desejo que lhe aprouvesse. Midas, sem reflectir um instante, pediu para que tudo em que tocasse em ouro se transformasse. Baco ficou surpreendido, prevendo o pior, mas concedeu-lhe o desejo.
Midas tocou numa cadeira e ela de imediato se transformou em ouro. Depois tocou na mesa, nos jarros, nos pratos… Tudo ficava em ouro. Midas ria de prazer. Corria de sala em sala tocando tudo quanto via e tudo se transformava em ouro. Daí a pouco todo o palácio rebrilhava como banhado por centenas de sóis.
Ao meio-dia estava cansado de tanta correria. Sentou-se à mesa para almoçar. Levou à boca um cacho de uvas que de imediato se transformaram em bolas de ouro. Mandou vir peixe, carne... Tudo se transformava em ouro logo que lhe tocava. Midas percebeu então que o poder concedido era inútil e perverso. Passaram dias. O desespero e fome eram cada vez maiores. Não comia, não dormia e quando tocava na mulher ou nos filhos, estes passavam a estátuas douradas.
Desvairado, consultou um óraculo que o mandou banhar-se nas águas do rio Pactolo. Assim fez e a maldição saiu-lhe do corpo. As areias no fundo do rio ficaram, desde então, com ouro depositado”.
Quinto Servílio interrompeu o seu discurso, deixando suspensa a audiência…

Próximo capítulo terça-feira.
JORGE FERREIRA PINHEIRO

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